comedy

The 90s intro to “This is Swindon” is pure gold

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, History, Humour, Swindon, Television, Uncategorized , , , ,

The music, the editing, the vibe; this introduction to Swindon title sequence from the 1990s has everything going for it.

Hailing from a time (now long since gone) where many medium sized towns had their own cable TV station, I don’t know how I stubbled across this Despite that, this 30 second clip has since become a video that I absolutely love and adore for all its total cheesiness. It lives in my head rent free.

Thinking ahead, I might feature this clip in another Swindon-related piece, or I might choose to feature it in every single thing I say and do from now on. As intros go, I think this is unashamedly low-budget and utter class. And now I have shared this delightful earworm with you as well.

What can I say? You’re welcome.

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My Housemate’s a Mermaid – THE PODCAST

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Another one from deep within the MHAM draft posts that never made it to air…until now.

Back in 2021…

I was thinking to myself the other day “you know what? There aren’t enough podcasts in the world. And golly, there sure as heck aren’t enough opinions being shared around. I should do something to rectify this immediately!”

Or, alternatively, I saw an advert for the free podcasting creator, Anchor, and thought I’d give it a shot.

Several coffees later and some playing about with low-budget graphics and ta-da! A podcast was born:

(Before you say anything, I really cannot stress the low budget-ness of this production. Low budget in the sense there is none.)

Who knows what will become of this, but basically it’s me talking to myself for up to half an hour and in episode one I talk about what lead me to start writing a blog. If you enjoy the concept of a one-woman natter then you’re in for a right royal treat.

I honestly could not be selling this venture harder if I tried. It’s just something I’m giving a go at for a bit of fun.

“My Housemate’s a Mermaid – The Podcast” available on Spotify

Jumping back to 2025…

Surprise, surprise, it didn’t catch on and after forcing myself through four recordings I stopped podcasting and went back to pure writing. I think as much as anything it was the realisation that podcasting with free software is difficult (in that I found the free to use software incredibly limiting and of overall poor production value).

I’m currently in the process of getting the original recordings saved (would you believe it, the platform appears to give podcast owners no access to downloading their own work once published).

For now, enjoy the bittersweet car crash that was the MHAM podcast and who knows, maybe I’ll revive it one day on better terms.

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This book cover: discuss

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Art, Book, comedy, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , , ,

One of the many “quirks” of sitting in a number of bookish related chats are the covers that authors bound around for feedback. Of all of them, this one seemed to raise more questions. I’ll let you decide why.

Bearing in mind little to no context was issued by the author, at the time he just wanted design feedback. Standard things, like, “does it grab your attention?”, “is the font legible?”, “is the design overall a good fit?”

From doing a quick search on Amazon, it would appear the book has yet to be published. So keep an eye out, because you never know with these things!

(Oh, and in case there was any doubt, I was very much in the “not a fan” club.)

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I don’t know if it’s healthy to have *this* song stuck in my head for nearly as long as it has

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Humor, Humour, Music, Uncategorized , , , , , , ,

“Justified and Ancient”, now that was truly a song of its time. (1991, if you need reminding.)

Given I was born after this year, you may well ask how I came to be acquainted with this track. Short answer, BBC Radio 2. Slightly longer answer, Radio 2 played it twice in as many days and that was it, I was hooked.

Not knowing the title of the track from the lyrics alone, I blindly punched “moo moo land” into a popular search engine and found it. Turns out, it’s a very nineties collaboration between country singer Tammy Wynette and “British electronic band”, The KLF.

And, well, I got this:

It also wasn’t lost on me that this clip from Glee came in a close second on search results:

So, guess what? This track is now embedded in my memory dungeon, alongside the Never Ending Property song. Yay, me!

Image credit: https://concord.com/news/klfs-justified-ancient-featuring-tammy-wynette-released-to-streaming-for-first-time/

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Getting “headless” in Swindon

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, Everyday Occurances, Humor, Humour, Swindon, Uncategorized , , ,

So, I’ve just spotted this in one of the recycling crates on my street…

Surprise, surprise the recycling collection crew left it behind.

Given this is the second time random heads have shown up in the immediate vicinity of my house, I’m starting to wonder whether I’m safe to continue living in this postcode area. Don’t people read-up on their local recycling policy anymore?!

Oh Swindon, you never fail to keep me in awe.

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Photo of the week: Shop window mannequin

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Charity, comedy, fashion, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , , , ,

It’s not very often you say “that’s a nicely sculpted bum” in the middle of a charity shop.

This was spotted in a charity (thrift) shop supporting Cancer Research UK. I’ll refrain from saying the exact location of said shop, as I’m keeping all knowledge of this mannequin for my own personal use. And make of that what you will.

Editorial note: I know my dislike / borderline hate for mannequins is very well documented (see the end of my Belfast video / The Alice Show). However, I make exception to shop mannequins as a general category…unless they’re the creepy ones with badly constructed faces. Those ones can burn in a pit of fire with the historical ones.

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10 Years of “My Housemate’s a Mermaid”

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Anniversary, British, comedy, Event, family, Humor, Humour, Mellennial, Mermaid, Review, Swindon, Uncategorized , , ,

On 11th November 2014, I went to the supermarket to buy toilet roll, which inspired me to start a blog. Ten years later, I’m still here.

Five years ago I wrote the very aptly named piece, Five Years Ago Today…. Aside from it being very surreal that five more years have gone by, a hell of a lot more has changed since then.

What MHAM is, and always will be, is an insight into my world, from the highs of getting my short stories published, to the foot injury lows and the ranty McRant face of Jus-Rol’s cinnamon swirls. It has also been the place to share all the wonderful holidays I’ve undertaken as a solo traveller and, more recently, with my wonderful “Boyfriend Ben”. I setup a social group for young people, moved to London, came back from London, built a career from a History degree in execution and country houses. I’ve volunteered for nine separate non profits, and met an amazing bloke who to this day continues to champion my corner, inspiring me to strive for the stars each and every day. It really has been a rollercoaster of emotional content.

Around the world there are so many instances of people being denied their freedom of expression and creativity, which is why I feel so privileged to have the family and professional career that supports me to keep doing what I love. It is the utter joy I get from recognition and compliments, the unexpected surprise when someone reaches out to say how much they enjoy my work. The odd competition win or shortlisting. It is those glints of gold that give me the euphoric buzz to keep hitting these keys.

In 2014, on that chilly dark night where nothing seemed possible, I discovered my voice. And you, the reader, are 75% of the reason why I’m still here. Thank you.

With little more to add, I will leave you with visual memories of the last ten years (and a couple from before) and a simple vow, that I will continue to write for ten more years and beyond, whatever form that takes.

May your hearts always be full and your coffee only slightly spilled.

AEB x

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A birthday card for my sister

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Birthday, British, comedy, Cotswolds, Event, family, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , , , , ,

From the makers of Seven Degrees of Pie, ladies and gentlemen, I present you with the collage-card I gifted my sister for her birthday:

Now, I know how it looks. It looks like I found a really old newspaper, cut it up and threw it altogether to squeeze into a birthday card…

In my defence, I didn’t realise the coupon for the iweekend newspaper was dated.

Besides, who couldn’t be left in absolute awe over the contents of this birthday card? It has words such as “amazing”, “5*”, “Discover Paradise”, and a inserts of a pilot with a ukulele and Richard Madeley with a knowing smile.

I obviously threw in some smudgy words into the gap before handing it to her, but we all know the real reason why it’s a birthday card she won’t forget in a hurry. After all, you know what they say, “don’t judge a [generic greetings card] by its cover.”

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And then I panicked with the courgette (zucchini)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Baking, British, comedy, Culture, food, Humor, Humour, Mellennial, Mental Health, Mermaid, Swindon, Uncategorized, Young Professional , , , ,

Hello, present-day Alice here. I found this post deep in my draft archives, 2021 deep. On one hand I have no idea why it never got posted, and on the other hand I have every idea.

While some things have changed since this was first drafted (notably the fact I was very much single in 2021), you’ll be pleased to know the cooking skills are still as horrific now as they were then. I did it then, and I have no doubt I’d do it all over again if given half the chance…and a courgette.

So, that in mind, enjoy. AEB

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You know how when someone says they’re a fat person in a skinny person’s body, you nod along? Well, I am that person, the one who doesn’t understand how she’s not yet stuck in a doorway.

I honestly think the only reason I’m still a healthy weight is be because I’m a slave in the Matrix, and the aliens are milking me for battery juice. (It’s a normal thought process to have, right?)

Take this evening and my portion control when it comes to this mass-produced Quorn Spaghetti Bolognese:

(FYI, not a vegetarian, just trying to do my bit for the planet…and stop Paul McCartney coming after me.)

And yes, there are also frozen vegetables in there, but let’s not dwell on the lengths I go to to ‘stodge-out’ a meal.

The thing is, it was a perfectly normal* (*Alice’s version of normal) meal. But then I had this courgette. And the courgette was on the turn (it was a little bit squidgy), but it was something Mumma B had given to me, so I was determined to not let it go to waste. But the mince-stuff was already cooked and rapidly burning.

Basically, I panicked.

I hurry-sliced the courgette, coated it in black pepper, drowned it in olive oil and then threw it in the oven. I don’t know why, I just did. And even as I type this, I am very much aware this is an Alice-world problem.

Anyway, about ten minutes later (Married at First Sight was on and I may have got distracted), I retrieved the cooked-baked mush that was once a courgette and dolloped it onto my dinner plate. By now the pasta was stodgy and the mince mostly burnt on the bottom of the pan. To add to this, I didn’t quite feel satisfied that the first picture illustrated the large portion of food I had on my plate. So what did I do?

Yes, that’s right, I compared it to the size of a teabag.

This, this is what I do for content. Jeeze.

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*ANOTHER* Video That Will Change Your Life

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, Humor, Humour, Television, Uncategorized , , ,

Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Barrymore.

No, I’m still not going to apologise. I didn’t apologise before, and I won’t now. You knew what you were in for when you clicked the link.

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