Humor

Why are there Halloween products on display…in August?

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Humor, Humour, Uncategorized

I’m sure I moaned about this before…

(Editing Alice here. Yes, you did sort of refer to it with this post, “This photograph = me right now”, but the actual ranting was probably something you did to your immediate friends and family at the time. Lucky them.)

…But why oh why are there Halloween items on display when in the UK when the temperature outside is hotter than the surface of the sun?

I took these from one particular UK chain of shops (the ones who will have the singing Father Christmas out on display by mid-September). However, I have seen lots of this kind of…”stuff” all summer long. And do not even get me started on the number of pumpkin-themed duvet covers I have seen.

Before you say anything, don’t tell me this is “summer-ween” because that is not a thing and we all know it. Some of this stuff is really freaky and I dare you to tell me otherwise. Bring back the fake witches fingers and bin bags I say.

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Only I Would Burn a Croissant This Badly

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Cooking, food, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , ,

Another reminder of how I can’t be left alone with food.

In my defence, I lost track of time…and how hot the oven was. And it really was as rock solid as it looks. A solid 0/10, but it did slide very nicely into the bin.

(Also another reason to refer you back to this clip:)

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Not the Best Way to Start a Tuesday…

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Humor, Humour, Uncategorized

There I was, pootling along in my Fiat, when the clutch stopped working.

Yep.

Anyone which has ever been in the position will know the “fun” that ensures a car breakdown. “Fun”, being the ten trillion calls you have to make to garages to find one that can take you in asap. Oh, and then there’s the initial quote they give you…

So, there I was, stood on the side of the road and very seriously wondering if I really could be bothered to even get the car towed. You do not even want to know what I was quoted. And good luck thinking you’ll see your car this side of the next blue moon for that price.

Anyway, so after Ben came out and told me, in the nicest possible way, to just book it in, we then waited another 90-odd minutes for the tow truck to arrive.

Tow truck arrived, and I guess I finally got to answer the question none of us ever have ever asked, “what does my car look like on the back of a tow truck?”

Well now I know.

So, that was how my Tuesday started. Yours?

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“Creatively Bruised” (jottings from the back of a notebook)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Culture, Europe, Event, Humor, Humour, job, Literature, London, love, Mellennial, Mental Health, Mermaid, Office, Prompt, Review, Social Media, Swindon, Theatre, Tourist, train, Travel, Uncategorized, Vacation, Work, Young Professional , , , , , , ,

2026 preface: I was going through old drafts and came across this, originally penned in January 2020. I forgot to publish it so sharing it now.

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Creatively Bruised 

I once knew a girl, not yet a woman; a note scratch-er, not yet a writer.

Despite her solo travels and trips far away, it was always the cities that led her astray. Where the wine is sweet and the water so foul can a woman be everything and nothing. But do her words twist enough like the mighty Thames, enough to charm the captive fish-eyed audience, or do they fall on deaf ears, washed away down the gutters like tumbling acidic rain on hard black soil? In such temperate climates as this, only the toss of rich man’s coin can decide a person’s fate.

Until that day, when the coin spins true, she must continue to bruise herself against the glass as a fly of hope searching for an opening of luck. She must work hard, but network harder; a friendly face, but a fire starter. She must drink water from spring’s trickle and never from the blistered and swollen mouth of the engorged black river.

I once knew a girl, not yet a woman; a note scratch-er, not yet a writer.

(Penned by AEB, January 2020)

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I don’t care what people say, this is a perfectly reasonable amount of food to take from a cold buffet

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Event, food, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , ,

Exactly what it says in the title. I would add that this was at all-day event, one that was self-funded and related to my hobbyist interest in writing/publishing. (And there was also a massive queue behind me.)

In fairness, what fool only grabs savouries without planning for dessert? (According to the WhatsApp message Boyfriend Ben sent me at the time, apparently no one.)

My family, however, they were impressed.

For reference, the plate was the size of my hand. And I may have still been eating cake on the journey back home.

After all, if you can’t recoup the entry fee on the buffet lunch, when can you?

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“Health and Safe-Tea at Work”: A Very British Parody

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Coffee, comedy, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , , ,

I can take no credit for the production of this (or even finding it online, that credit goes to my wonderful Ben). But this health and safety informational parody from the company Yorkshire Tea got a proper laugh out of me so hopefully you guys will enjoy it to.

This one goes out to my fellow Brits.

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The Bass on This Ice Cream Truck is Something Else

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Humor, Humour, Swindon, Uncategorized ,

This is an old video I came across on my phone, dating back to the Swindon days. I was minding my own business when I suddenly heard a new ice cream van (truck) on the estate. Not the first ice cream van I’d heard driving around these residential streets but the bass line on the jaunty jingle, it was something else.

I’ll let you be the judge on this one, but for me the tune feels somewhat passive aggressive!

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If (cat) looks could terrify

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Cats, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , , , ,

Mum and Dad’s new cat, Jim, is definitely not okay with my existence, as shown by this picture.

(Before you worry too much about Jim, just bear in mind this is also the same cat who will see anything as a challenge, even an ironing board.)

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There is a place in the world called “Farty” and I am so here for it

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Europe, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , , ,

Don’t ask me how, don’t ask me why but the other day I discovered there is a place in the world called Fartygsholmen and in the moment it completely made my evening.

According to Google Maps, Fartygsholmen (or, as I like to shorten it to, “Farty”) is an island off the coast of Finland . Quoting the great Wikipedia:

“The island is located about 17 kilometres southwest of Kotka and about 97 kilometres east of Helsinki. The island covers an area of 0.4 hectares and its maximum length is 90 metres in a southeast-northwest direction.”

Credit: Wikipedia

The icing on the cake? The extremes of the two Google reviews, one of which reads (translated) “A good place to take a break from loved ones” and the other, “HAHA Farty”.

Credit: Google Maps

It’s the little things.

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Happy Christmas 2025!

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Christmas, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized ,

Wishing all of my readers a very merry Christmas! As is tradition, I’ll be uploading a couple of book reviews over this festive period while I spend time relaxing and celebrating the season of goodwill with family, friends and a pint-and-a-half of Baileys.

Merry Christmas! AEB x

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