“Cleaning-Up the Microwave” (a Chemical Fume-Induced Song)

From the makers of That’s When the Cleaning Fumes Got to Me, I present me, cleaning the microwave with equally questionable methods.

If it’s not the fact I forgot to turn the mircowave off (apparently it’s not safe), it’s the realisation afterwards of the potential effects those fumes were having on me.

But still, at least the microwave is clean now.

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Reactions to “Chicken Con Carne”

Less than an hour after I upload my last post, Alice’s “Chicken Con Carne”, my phone buzzes. Two separate messages, one from Mumma B and the other from brutally honest mate Laura. Wishing we well? Asking what I’m up to? Nope, expressing concern over my grasp of international dialogue and my hands. As you do.

That’s right, I did indeed study Food Technology and the Spanish language at GCSE, with respective grades of A and B (I even won an award for my cooking). Where did it all go wrong? One word, University-catered-halls-of-residence-slash-studying-hard-slash-it-was-around-this-time-I-discovered-GoT-and-daytime-TV.

It gets worse. I visited Mumma B the other day and she’s given me a knife, that is how concerned she is. It must make her the first parent in history to thrust a knife into her daughter’s hand and beg me to take it. She even smuggled it into my handbag when I tried to leave it behind.

(The best bit? The video was recorded months ago. The face on Mumma B when I told her? Priceless.)

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“Six-Year-Old’s Lockdown Song to Missed Friends” – Two Years On

I cannot believe it’s been two years since I first heard “Six-year-old’s lockdown song to missed friends” (catchy title, I grant you).

What do you mean, you haven’t heard this song? What the heck is right with you?!

Say what you want about the first UK lockdown in 2020, but the local news reporting was at the very top of its game back then. Slow news month? Pfft! I don’t know what you’re taking about!

I can’t find the video on YouTube, okay, so you’ll have to trust me this link is safe and click on it to have a listen for yourself:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-52403189

And please don’t ask me how much time I spent trying to find this on the internet. An unhealthy amount, that’s what. (And an amount that could well have put me on some police-watch list).

Ah, April 2020. As I recall, around about this time I was spending 90% of my day rocking back and forth with a half-eaten packet of dry cream crackers in my hand. With this song stuck in my head.

Those were the days.

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The Cat’s Playing Hide and Seek, Again

When you spot her…

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My Best Bernie Saunders Impression

Completely uninentional; I went furniture shopping (I say shopping, it was more middle-class browsing) and somehow ended up looking like Bernie Saunders.

It’s not like I was even trying!

Bernie at the 2021 presidential inauguration, this is what I’m comparing myself to.

Image credit: Vanity Fair

I guess that makes me one step closer to being an old, white, American guy…

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Happy Monday, Everyone

Start as we mean to go on.

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Alice’s Book (Cover) of the Week #2

Again, as per the last one I shared, this too comes from an online forum.

Errrrrr…..

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The Spirit of Valentine’s Day, in One Profound Sentence

As said by my dearest father to Mumma B.

“If there’s one good thing about Valentine’s Day, it’s that the days are getting longer.’

Deep. Poignant. Truly Cotswolds.

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It’s Not Christmas, But I’m Sharing This Anyway

Because when I now think of Valentine’s Day and all things lovey dovey/mushy all I can think of is this incredibly corny video.

It may be Christmas themed but I bet you still watched it and agree with me, right?

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An Investment Opportunity

And let me tell you, this house does not disappoint.

A perfectly unassuming two-bed Vicorian terrace property on the market for £60,000. As of Feb 2022, other properies on the same street are up for c. £170,000, so this really is a postcode-bargain.

And, if you were just to look at the single photo on the main listing that’s were it would end. Click on the link titled “Video tour” though and things get interesting…

Sure, the front living room is a little messy, more a hommage to the 1970s, but nothing I haven’t seen before (I would know, I own a sunburst clock).

Then you move to the dining room.

If anything so far has been disturbing you better stop reading.

This, this is the kitchen.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Then there’s the ajoining bathroom.

Upstairs you’ve got a table because why not?

And as far as the master bedroom goes it’s just more of the same.

Stairway is in a decent state, just need redecorating.

There you go. A two-bedroomed terraced property in Swindon, yours for as little as £60,000 (subject to auction room bidding). Do I have any takers?

Full credit to Mumma B for discovering this listing and sharing it with me. Link to the full property details: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119204489#/?channel=RES_BUY

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