Uncategorized

10 Years of “My Housemate’s a Mermaid”

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Anniversary, British, comedy, Event, family, Humor, Humour, Mellennial, Mermaid, Review, Swindon, Uncategorized , , ,

On 11th November 2014, I went to the supermarket to buy toilet roll, which inspired me to start a blog. Ten years later, I’m still here.

Five years ago I wrote the very aptly named piece, Five Years Ago Today…. Aside from it being very surreal that five more years have gone by, a hell of a lot more has changed since then.

What MHAM is, and always will be, is an insight into my world, from the highs of getting my short stories published, to the foot injury lows and the ranty McRant face of Jus-Rol’s cinnamon swirls. It has also been the place to share all the wonderful holidays I’ve undertaken as a solo traveller and, more recently, with my wonderful “Boyfriend Ben”. I setup a social group for young people, moved to London, came back from London, built a career from a History degree in execution and country houses. I’ve volunteered for nine separate non profits, and met an amazing bloke who to this day continues to champion my corner, inspiring me to strive for the stars each and every day. It really has been a rollercoaster of emotional content.

Around the world there are so many instances of people being denied their freedom of expression and creativity, which is why I feel so privileged to have the family and professional career that supports me to keep doing what I love. It is the utter joy I get from recognition and compliments, the unexpected surprise when someone reaches out to say how much they enjoy my work. The odd competition win or shortlisting. It is those glints of gold that give me the euphoric buzz to keep hitting these keys.

In 2014, on that chilly dark night where nothing seemed possible, I discovered my voice. And you, the reader, are 75% of the reason why I’m still here. Thank you.

With little more to add, I will leave you with visual memories of the last ten years (and a couple from before) and a simple vow, that I will continue to write for ten more years and beyond, whatever form that takes.

May your hearts always be full and your coffee only slightly spilled.

AEB x

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

Isle of Wight antics

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Culture, Holiday, Humor, Humour, Tourist, Travel, Uncategorized, Vacation , , , ,

Here’s a snappy summary of what Boyfriend Ben and I got up to in August. In simple terms, a lot of walking and a wonderful trip to the Isle of Wight to visit Ben’s family…and also the mermaid gin bar.

After all, one has to keep up with one’s mermaid connections. It would have been a crime not to visit!

Locations featured:

Wiltshire Canal (Bath Spa – Bradford on Avon)

Brading Roman Villa

The Boathouse IOW

Isle of Wight Distillery (Mermaid Gin Bar)

Appley Beach Café

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

**

A birthday card for my sister

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Birthday, British, comedy, Cotswolds, Event, family, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , , , , ,

From the makers of Seven Degrees of Pie, ladies and gentlemen, I present you with the collage-card I gifted my sister for her birthday:

Now, I know how it looks. It looks like I found a really old newspaper, cut it up and threw it altogether to squeeze into a birthday card…

In my defence, I didn’t realise the coupon for the iweekend newspaper was dated.

Besides, who couldn’t be left in absolute awe over the contents of this birthday card? It has words such as “amazing”, “5*”, “Discover Paradise”, and a inserts of a pilot with a ukulele and Richard Madeley with a knowing smile.

I obviously threw in some smudgy words into the gap before handing it to her, but we all know the real reason why it’s a birthday card she won’t forget in a hurry. After all, you know what they say, “don’t judge a [generic greetings card] by its cover.”

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

**

And then I panicked with the courgette (zucchini)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Baking, British, comedy, Culture, food, Humor, Humour, Mellennial, Mental Health, Mermaid, Swindon, Uncategorized, Young Professional , , , ,

Hello, present-day Alice here. I found this post deep in my draft archives, 2021 deep. On one hand I have no idea why it never got posted, and on the other hand I have every idea.

While some things have changed since this was first drafted (notably the fact I was very much single in 2021), you’ll be pleased to know the cooking skills are still as horrific now as they were then. I did it then, and I have no doubt I’d do it all over again if given half the chance…and a courgette.

So, that in mind, enjoy. AEB

**

You know how when someone says they’re a fat person in a skinny person’s body, you nod along? Well, I am that person, the one who doesn’t understand how she’s not yet stuck in a doorway.

I honestly think the only reason I’m still a healthy weight is be because I’m a slave in the Matrix, and the aliens are milking me for battery juice. (It’s a normal thought process to have, right?)

Take this evening and my portion control when it comes to this mass-produced Quorn Spaghetti Bolognese:

(FYI, not a vegetarian, just trying to do my bit for the planet…and stop Paul McCartney coming after me.)

And yes, there are also frozen vegetables in there, but let’s not dwell on the lengths I go to to ‘stodge-out’ a meal.

The thing is, it was a perfectly normal* (*Alice’s version of normal) meal. But then I had this courgette. And the courgette was on the turn (it was a little bit squidgy), but it was something Mumma B had given to me, so I was determined to not let it go to waste. But the mince-stuff was already cooked and rapidly burning.

Basically, I panicked.

I hurry-sliced the courgette, coated it in black pepper, drowned it in olive oil and then threw it in the oven. I don’t know why, I just did. And even as I type this, I am very much aware this is an Alice-world problem.

Anyway, about ten minutes later (Married at First Sight was on and I may have got distracted), I retrieved the cooked-baked mush that was once a courgette and dolloped it onto my dinner plate. By now the pasta was stodgy and the mince mostly burnt on the bottom of the pan. To add to this, I didn’t quite feel satisfied that the first picture illustrated the large portion of food I had on my plate. So what did I do?

Yes, that’s right, I compared it to the size of a teabag.

This, this is what I do for content. Jeeze.

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

*ANOTHER* Video That Will Change Your Life

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, Humor, Humour, Television, Uncategorized , , ,

Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Barrymore.

No, I’m still not going to apologise. I didn’t apologise before, and I won’t now. You knew what you were in for when you clicked the link.

**

Could you spare a dollar? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

What.

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, fashion, Humor, Humour, Swindon, Uncategorized , , , , , ,

Could someone care to explain to me what the heck this is?

For more context, this was something I spotted during my wanderings around Swindon.

The most rational explanation is that someone had a load of mannequin heads as part of a hair cutting course, but it’s still very weird.

What can you say? Only in Swindon.

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

Coffee shop of the week

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Coffee, food, Humour, Swindon, Uncategorized , , ,

As a little nod to some of the many hundreds, thousands, millions of independent coffee shops in the world, I’m going to do the odd coffee shop shout out to celebrate all the wonderful things they do, in and around caffeine.

So it’s a big, fat shout out to Darkroom Espresso in Swindon (Wiltshire, UK). A trendy little spot just outside the town centre and one that has never judged me for sitting in the window with my laptop for two hours. (That alone is worth its weight in cappuccino gold.)

If you’re in the area, check them out.

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

Two book launches in 48 hours: Bournemouth Writing Festival and Swindon Literary Festival

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Book, Culture, Event, Holiday, Humour, Swindon, Uncategorized, Vacation, Writing , , , , , ,

Following official PR, I am now able to share with you details of two writing competitions I won, and their associated launch events. And, eek! They were both an absolute blast!

Bournemouth Writing Festival

At the Bournemouth Writing Festival, I won in the fiction category for my piece of flash fiction, “How the Dressmaker of Bournemouth Feeds her Family”.

Boy, did Bournemouth pack a punch! As well as receiving free tickets to attend some interesting talks held by the festival, there was also a Sunday evening showcase and awards presentation.

Photo credit: Solid Imagery

There was a weird knotty feeling in the pit my stomach watching people read copies of the book, and it was only later that evening, when boyfriend Ben pretty much forced me to sit down and listen to him read my story, that I noted what I’d written was actually pretty good.

After the showcase, we made a toast to my success with a glass of prosecco and a McDonald’s in the hotel room. It was wonderful.

It was a truly delightful weekend (and that was before I got a mention in this glowing 5 star review!)

A lovely sunny weekend, spent on the English south coast.

Swindon Literary Festival

The launch of Swindon Writers III came with a packed-out library venue, much to everyone’s surprise. Boyfriend Ben was unfortunately not feeling well on the night but I sent him a message to reassure him that I had more than enough attendees to keep me company.

Words were said by the editors and extracts read from the publication. To know my short story, “Bee Kind”, had been selected to sit alongside them in the book meant a lot.

A close up of some of the audience, featuring the back of my head

Two book launches, two reasons to celebrate and a very happy author in between. As I say to people, prizes and publication aren’t the sole reason why we do what we do, but it damn well helps.

**

Head over to my publishing credits page to find out where you can purchase either book

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

**

Does this make me a spammer’s WAG?

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Book Review, Humor, Humour, Sport, Uncategorized , , , , ,

Check out who’s following your girl on Reedsy Discovery.

That’s right, this man.

This man, who I had to look up online.

I initially thought it was Paolo Guerrero, a professional football player who plays in strike position for Ecuador. Paulo Guerreiro on the other hand, I have no idea. I think he’s a nobody.

Do I think this is a fake account? Yes. Do I hold out hope that a “somebody” in sport has taken interest in my work? I couldn’t possibly comment…

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

Dinosaur small talk on a date

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, Dating, Humor, Humour, Television, Uncategorized , , ,

This one comes from the Alice archives, from a time when I was channel flicking and came across this beauty of a clip from the Channel 4 reality TV show, “Celebs Go Dating”. I recorded it on my phone, hence the iffy quality, but it’s still a classic.

**

Could you spare a dollar to support me? Donate here!

Alice’s Funding Page

**