food

What is going on with Jus-Rol’s cinnamon swirls / rolls?

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Baking, British, comedy, food, Humor, Humour, Review, Uncategorized , , , , , ,

2026 update: See also Jus-Rol will not get the hint on their cinnamon swirls / rolls

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After battling a mouthful of disappointment, I just wanted to highlight how much of a travesty Jus-Rol‘s cinnamon swirls rebrand is.

In the simplest of terms, it’s awful.

For those less aware of its previous incarnations, Jus-Rol’s cinnamon swirls is a ready-to-bake product. What it offers to the market is something straightforward and quick, providing the same results of freshy made pastry, without the time and stress needed to make a batch from scratch.

To quote Jus-Rol’s website:

“Jus-Rol’s ready to bake Cinnamon Swirls are a perfectly easy way to bake your family a tasty morning treat at home. Just shape, bake and enjoy warm from the oven. The aroma will fill your kitchen with joy as they bake up.”

https://www.jusrol.co.uk/products/cinnamon-swirls

Making Jus-Rol cinnamon swirls was easy. You took it out of the tube, split the cylinder of pre-filled pastry into six and then whacked it into the oven, cooking for a defined period of time and icing once cooled.

Now the process is several steps longer and ten times worse. Instead of one pot for icing sugar, now you get two, one for the icing sugar and one for the “cinnamon filling” which looks more like chocolate spread and smells of nothing.

Even if we park the creation of needless plastic packaging, it is hard to overlook the messy complexity created by the introduction this modest little pot. Once the filling is smeared across a flat rectangle of raw pastry, the consumer then has to roll the pastry and only then cutting it into six.

Thanks to this step, the cinnamon goes absolutely everywhere. Some pieces were left drowning in brown paste, others with barely a scrap inside. Some swirls were trying to uncurl and others kept oozing.

Turns out whacking them into the oven doesn’t help much either. Cast your mind back to the picture on the Jus-Rol box and compare it to what we got.

While we can all laugh at mis-shaped pastries, it doesn’t compare to how they used to look with the old recipe.

Turns out I’m not the only one disappointed by Jus-Rol’s change in manufacturing. With an average rating of 1.1 at the time of writing, Tesco’s customers are less than impressed.

And the feedback on Jul-Rol’s Facebook page is comical.

Here’s hoping Jus-Rol listen to this feedback on and tossing aside whichever team of dingbats thought it was a good idea to implement cost-cutting, planet harming, changes to a classic.

Have you also experienced this frustration? Drop a comment below and/or contact Jus-Rol’s customer service team via their website, Jus-Rol (jusrol.co.uk)

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Seven Degrees of Pie

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, family, food, Humor, Humour , ,

My birthday card writing skills need no introduction, which is why I present to you my latest iteration for my sister’s birthday. Ladies and gentlemen, I call this “Seven Degrees of Pie”

Let me quickly summarise (as I know the lack of space makes the writing legibility a bit hit and miss in places):

  1. Blueberry pie! Which is as cute looking as…
  2. Kitty pie! Kitty pie sounds as funny to say as…
  3. Pizza pie! Which is orange in colour, like…
  4. Pumpkin pie! This particular pumpkin pie looks like a face, like…
  5. Pacman pie! Pacman pie rushes after tasty treats like…
  6. Pie Face! (the Beano character) Pie Face = …
  7. Pie…on your face. See! The proof is in the pie!

There you have it. My very well thought out logic that one is never more than seven moves from being pied. And just think, I never went to Philosophy school.

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Alice Likes Honey

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Europe, food, Humor, Humour, Travel , ,

A new thing I’ve discovered, honey sachets!

I am fully aware of the existence of both honey and sachets but the two together? Ruddy marvellous.

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Alice Takes on the Pudding Van

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Baking, British, comedy, Coronavirus, Culture, Event, Everyday Occurances, food, House, Humor, Humour, Mellennial, Mermaid, Nonfiction, Prompt, Social Media, sophistication, Swindon, Uncategorized, Wheelie Bins, Work, Young Professional , , , ,

Someone abandoned their catering van on my housing estate. And I was not happy.

Look at it! It’s massive!

Naturally, I applied a very level-headed attitude to this. That’s right, I sent a ranty email to estate management. It went something like this:

WHY IS THERE A MASSIVE CATERING VAN PARKED IN A VISITOR SPACE? I’VE CHECKED THE REGISTRATION PLATE (“XXX XXX” for your reference) AND IT’S NOT TAXED OR INSURED. IT’S UGLY AND CLEARLY BEEN ABANDONNED. I PAY MY MANAGEMENT FEES, SORT IT OUT!

(The caps are a reflection of the shouty voice in my head…I may have also left the last bit out.)

Estate management responded, saying thay they’d located the vehicle’s owner and told them to move it within the next 48 hours.

48 hours came and went, the van unmoved.

I wish I could say I became tolerant of the pudding van’s presence, but when you’re facing onto something like that every time you go to make a cup of tea, it’s very hard to let go. (Plus, you know, me.)

Whilst waiting for the owners to be chased up again, I did a little investigation of myself. By in investigation, I meant be super nosey.

There weren’t any company details on the van and the only online presence seemed to take me back to a deactivated Facebook page, from when it operated out of Pershore some 56 miles away.

Instead of hard, concrete information, I had to deal with statements like this:

It reads: “Feeling stressed? Stressed backwards is desserts”

I don’t know what bothered me most; the font, the words or the fact that it’s annoyingly true. Everything about it grated on me more than the sugary sweetness of the food it claimed to provide.

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Update: I drafted this post in September 2021, however in June 2022 the van disappeared altogether. I assumed it was at local festival but it never came back and I haven’t seen the van since. No idea what has happened but the problem of the Pudding Van seems to have sorted itself!

I’m totally putting it down to my ability to moan, that or my top-notch judgemental stares out the window.

(And as for why I’m not posting this until now…well, I forgot I’d written it.)

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Reactions to “Chicken Con Carne”

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Cooking, Cotswolds, family, food, Humor, Humour, Swindon , , ,

Less than an hour after I upload my last post, Alice’s “Chicken Con Carne”, my phone buzzes. Two separate messages, one from Mumma B and the other from brutally honest mate Laura. Wishing we well? Asking what I’m up to? Nope, expressing concern over my grasp of international dialogue and my hands. As you do.

That’s right, I did indeed study Food Technology and the Spanish language at GCSE, with respective grades of A and B (I even won an award for my cooking). Where did it all go wrong? One word, University-catered-halls-of-residence-slash-studying-hard-slash-it-was-around-this-time-I-discovered-GoT-and-daytime-TV.

It gets worse. I visited Mumma B the other day and she’s given me a knife, that is how concerned she is. It must make her the first parent in history to thrust a knife into her daughter’s hand and beg me to take it. She even smuggled it into my handbag when I tried to leave it behind.

(The best bit? The video was recorded months ago. The face on Mumma B when I told her? Priceless.)

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Alice’s “Chicken Con Carne”

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, food, Humour, Uncategorized , , ,

For this one there isn’t much to say that isn’t covered in this video. I think I’m getting better at this cooking malarkey.

And plated up…

So go on, tell me you’re not a little bit impressed. And, if you’re not impressed, it’s because you’re the one who’s been stockpiling all the beef and/or Quorn mince.

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I’ve Been “Cooking” Again

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) adult, British, comedy, Cooking, Coronavirus, Culture, Event, food, House, Humor, Humour, Mellennial, Mental Health, Mermaid, Nonfiction, Review, sophistication, Swindon, Uncategorized, Young Professional , , ,

Recently got the kitchen done = no oven for two weeks = several takeouts and a trillion microwave meals.

Now, you guys all know how horrific my life choices can be when I set my mind to it? Well this, this shows one of those in action. Behold, me deomonstrating how to prepare one of my signature classics, “East Meets West”.

An absolute culinary pro from start to finish.

Next question, who’s coming over to mine for seconds?

(Ps, if you’re after more kitchen inspiration, here’s the link to my stodge dinner recipe.)

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Alice’s Signature “Three Ingredient” Cooking (Alias “Stodge Dinner”)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Baking, British, comedy, Coronavirus, Europe, Event, food, House, Humor, Humour, London, Mellennial, Mermaid, Social Media, sophistication, Swindon, Uncategorized, Work, Young Professional , , , ,

A couple of videos that showcase just the level of my culinary abilities. I’d caveat it with something like, “it had been a long day in the office and/or it was 23:00 in the evening”, but it wasn’t. It was 19:00 and it was me, being me.

Part One – Preparation and Cooking

Part Two – Finishing Touches and the Taste Test

Oh, and here is the pastry I mentioned in the video, the free one.

I think it was a citrus tart. It tasted of lemons. It was going out of date that day, so someone came up to me and asked if I wanted it. Five days after said expiry date, I ate it (because that’s the kind of classy girl I am).

So, who wants to hire me as their private chef?

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You’re Welcome

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Commute, Coronavirus, Cotswolds, Culture, Europe, Event, food, Humour, Mellennial, Mermaid, Review, Social Media, sophistication, Staycation, Tourist, Travel, Uncategorized, Vacation, Young Professional , , , ,

I sent a thank you card to one of the restaurants I frequented when I made a solo staycation to Belfast, Northern Ireland.

(God knows what I wrote inside, I can barely remember what I ate for lunch five minutes ago.)

Whatever its contents were, The Northern Whig clearly enjoyed them enough to prop it up on their fancy bar and share it on their Instagram story.

Caption reads: Such a thoughtful thank-you card from @aeb.thewriter

You’re welcome guys, hope to visit again soon. x

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Geology, Politics and Guinness: My Week in Belfast

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Coronavirus, Culture, Europe, Event, food, History, Holiday, Humour, Mellennial, Mermaid, Nonfiction, Social Media, Staycation, Tourist, Travel, Uncategorized, Young Professional , , , , , ,

Just back, having spent a week in the lovely city of Belfast (capital of Northern Ireland, UK).

I had a wonderful time visiting The Giants Causeway, drinking Guinness, admiring political murals, drinking my weight in coffee, absorbing the industrial significance of the Titanic…getting through a lot of local gins. It was a cultural whirlwind. Best of all, it was unbelievably sunny; it didn’t rain once!*

* – apart from the ten minutes it pelted it down, but at that point had just paid my entrance ticket to spend some time inside Belfast’s notorious Crumlin prison. (I swear I’m a normal human being deep down.)

Hopefully there will be a video coming up soonish (when I get a spare day to pull everything together), but in the meantime here are a selection of choice snaps from my staycation.

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