Author: My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett)

This bin has an interesting description

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) House, Humor, Humour, shopping , , , ,

Mumma B takes full credit for finding this on her eBay travels.

The listing has long since vanished, although strangely I was able to access the link via my mobile, but not laptop (so go figure).

It’s admittedly a bit of a lengthy description, so I’ve picked out the highlights. Sections have been removed for brevity but everything marked in quotes is word-for-word lifted from the original description.

 

Plastic Recycle Bin & Lid 25L/50L Rubbish Dustbin Kitchen Garden Waste New 2022

This product is very inexpensive and light in weight.

I think this product can bring a fun way of putting in the necessary things. Attractive and Beautiful both aspects of this Flap Lid Recycle Bin bring happiness to the eyes. There are some people who will find this ecstatic.
Above all, it is said that people tend to remember only 10-20% of what they see and hear. Moreover, that number rises to as much as 90% when they see something unique.


On the contrary, I must say that this is the ultimate final product if you are looking for something big because Flap Lid Recycle Bin is for your interior decoration because this is the best.
This product is designed for the British Aesthetic looks and Cultural aspects.
It can be used in your Drawing rooms and Lounges because it adds beauty to it.

Wait, there's more!

RETURNS AND REFUND POLICY

Goods received back complete as NEW and unused and in original box and packaging including all accessories and in a re-sellable condition: You will be refunded the full invoice amount less cost of delivery.

Goods received back not in a re-sellable condition: We are unable to accept these back under the above terms and the goods will be returned back to you and the cost of delivery charged to you.

Goods received back complete as NEW and unused and in original box and packaging including all accessories and in a re-sellable condition: Goods will not be accepted back if they are not in a resellable condition.

In case you weren't sure

RETURNS:

Goods must be returned ‘AS SOLD’ in the original packaging complete ‘AS NEW’.

Goods must be complete, unused, and in ‘AS NEW’ condition (eg if you have opened the box to examine the product it must have been done so without damaging the box and packaging or damaging the product in any way) and must be re-packaged as received.

Payment information is sponsored by the upper case

PAYMENT:

We Aim to Dispatch All Orders Within 24 Hours Of Cleared Payments

(Please Note Orders Placed On Friday, Saturday And Sunday Can Only Be Given To Carriers On Monday As They Do Not Pick Up Over Weekends)

And as for customer service...

SERVICE:

Our aim is to provide Top Level Customer Service, normally so we will try our best to solve any problem.

 

So there you have it. It is said that people tend to remember only 10-20% of what they see and hear, moreover, that number rises to as much as 90% when they see something unique.

It is probably why no one ever remembers anything from my website.

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Book Review: “The Ultimate Beginners Guide To Cheesemaking” by Kendall Roy

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Rating: 4 stars

Headline: The Ultimate Beginners Guide To Cheesemaking is a helpful, well-pitched guide for novice cheesemakers, young and old

Review:

Can I just say, I love cheese. It is both simple and extravagant, it’s non-fussy (preparation time for a meal of cheese and crackers? 30 seconds) and, above all, it goes with absolutely everything. There are over 1800 types of cheese, and one of the crying shames of mortality is that there is every chance I will not be able to try them all before the next world beckons. Hopefully that next world also has cheese.

Kendall Roy must be cut of the same cloth as myself. The American writer, based in California, is the author behind the new publication The Ultimate Beginners Guide To Cheesemaking. Spanning 78 pages, this short guide covers everything any budding cheesemaker would need to know to start crafting their own cheese recipe at home. Starting with the origins of cheesemaking, the guide goes on to cover some basic recipes, including essential kitchen ingredients and utensils. The book covers ten different cheese recipes for popular classics, including cheddar, feta and Swiss cheese and is bookended by common mistakes to avoid, and plenty of references should budding readers want to learn more.

A fun book, the tone of voice in The Ultimate Beginners Guide To Cheesemaking is nicely pitched, with the guidance offered at the right level for novice cheesemakers. The recipes are clear (for my fellow readers outside America, an FYI that the ingredient measurement are provided in cup units), and the detail provided on segments such as “essential kitchen equipment” comes from someone who has been there and got the apron. You can tell the guidance is coming from someone with a deep understanding of the craft. It would have been good to have included more imagery (sadly there are none, and in places it does feel lacking for it, especially as an aide memoir for the recipes). There are also no page numbers, which can make it slightly more challenging to when referencing between different sections.

The Ultimate Beginners Guide To Cheesemaking is a good book for newcomers to the cheesemaking industry, and while Roy makes no slight of the patience needed to produce a good lump of cheese, she is also clear on the rewards it can bring. Namely, cheese.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “The Ultimate Beginners Guide To Cheesemaking ” by Kendall Roy

Purchase Link: “The Ultimate Beginners Guide To Cheesemaking ” by Kendall Roy (Amazon)

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Isle of Wight antics

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Culture, Holiday, Humor, Humour, Tourist, Travel, Uncategorized, Vacation , , , ,

Here’s a snappy summary of what Boyfriend Ben and I got up to in August. In simple terms, a lot of walking and a wonderful trip to the Isle of Wight to visit Ben’s family…and also the mermaid gin bar.

After all, one has to keep up with one’s mermaid connections. It would have been a crime not to visit!

Locations featured:

Wiltshire Canal (Bath Spa – Bradford on Avon)

Brading Roman Villa

The Boathouse IOW

Isle of Wight Distillery (Mermaid Gin Bar)

Appley Beach Café

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Fiction Review: “A Woman’s Guide to Search & Rescue” by Mary Carroll Moore

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Rating: 3 stars

Headline: The story of one woman’s mission to rebuild relationships and clear her name

Review:

When the opportunity arose to review Mary Carroll Moore’s The Woman’s Guide to Search & Rescue I thought I was picking up a non-fiction title (having missed the small inclusion of “a novel” in the thumbnail’s footer). After realising my mistake I decided to continue reading, hooked by a dramatic opening scene featuring protagonist and indie rockstar, Red Nelson.

Shortly after crashing a stolen plane we learn of Red’s predicament. Framed for a violent attack she didn’t commit by the real perpetrator, longstanding criminal Billy Cotton, Red turns to her search and rescue pilot step sister, Kate Fisher and her daughter, Molly, for help. Their challenge is twofold, proving Red’s innocence and locking up Billy for good. However, as family tensions heat up and physical injuries take hold, it quickly becomes apparent there can only be one winner in this epic battle of cat and mouse and, when it comes to defeat, Billy is not a man used to losing…

The premise of this book is interesting, playing against the relationships of blended female generations who are linked by the same patriarchal figurehead. Personalities are distinct between the core characters and Moore does a great job in building tension and raising stakes within action sequences.

In A Woman’s Guide to Search & Rescue there is a lack of strong subplots to keep driving the underlying story of Red evading capture. The need of an additional storyline during the middle lull was particularly needed after the sudden appearance of Billy (an event that occurs earlier in the story than most comparative titles would normally address). This, as well as perhaps a few too many characters within the story, some of which appearing sporadically as means to unlock elements of the plot and little else.

A Woman’s Guide to Search & Rescue is worthwhile a read for those who enjoy stories featuring intergenerational relationships. Moore’s talent as an author shows in the writing quality and scene setting which are well executed throughout. However, in this case, it is the pacing of the story itself that would make me more prescriptive with the type of reader I recommend this title to.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “A Woman’s Guide to Search & Rescue” by Mary Carroll Moore

Purchase Link: “A Woman’s Guide to Search & Rescue” by Mary Carroll Moore (Amazon)

Author Website: Mary Carroll Moore | Author and Artist

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A birthday card for my sister

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Birthday, British, comedy, Cotswolds, Event, family, Humor, Humour, Uncategorized , , , , ,

From the makers of Seven Degrees of Pie, ladies and gentlemen, I present you with the collage-card I gifted my sister for her birthday:

Now, I know how it looks. It looks like I found a really old newspaper, cut it up and threw it altogether to squeeze into a birthday card…

In my defence, I didn’t realise the coupon for the iweekend newspaper was dated.

Besides, who couldn’t be left in absolute awe over the contents of this birthday card? It has words such as “amazing”, “5*”, “Discover Paradise”, and a inserts of a pilot with a ukulele and Richard Madeley with a knowing smile.

I obviously threw in some smudgy words into the gap before handing it to her, but we all know the real reason why it’s a birthday card she won’t forget in a hurry. After all, you know what they say, “don’t judge a [generic greetings card] by its cover.”

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Poetry Review: “How to Monetize Despair” by Lisa Mottolo

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Rating: 5 stars

Headline: How to Monetize Despair: I don’t know how Mottolo does it, she just does.

Review:

Before I have even turned the opening page of How to Monetize Despair I somewhat know this is going to have me hooked. With an intriguing choice of title and dramatic cover imagery, Lisa Mottolo’s poetry collection is one which marks itself as bold and unapologetic from the get go. Those of a sensitive disposition should step aside now.

In just under a hundred pages, this collection provides readers with an assortment of stanza-led poetry and monologue segments, divided into three segments but overall covering the key milestones of grief, from the initial shock trauma to forming new pathways in life. In one poem titled “We Only Speak Well of the Dead”, Mottolo inserts feelings love and compassion expressed in the wording against a title backdrop of dry humour (in this case, the observation that so often death blesses one’s legacy with a celebrated status which the deceased are unable to appreciate). It is a slightly twisted view of the world, but one which feels clever and, like much of Mottolo’s poetry, one you need to read for yourself to truly appreciate.

The monologue excepts of writing are monolithic, taking up to a page with the author intentionally leaving the copy as one lump of solid text. It forces the reader to tackle the content in one go, or else face losing their place in the text altogether, however once you adopt the differing approach to reading you are greatly rewarded with beautiful imagery and ideas on the meaning of life that for better or worse will haunt you long after you have finished reading.

How to Monetize Despair makes for a strangely captivating read. It is hard to put into words how Mottolo does it, she just does. In truth the only way to fully understand this poetry collection is to read it for yourself, do that and then we can talk.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “How to Monetize Despair” by Lisa Mottolo

Purchase Link: “How to Monetize Despair” by Lisa Mottolo (Amazon)

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And then I panicked with the courgette (zucchini)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Baking, British, comedy, Culture, food, Humor, Humour, Mellennial, Mental Health, Mermaid, Swindon, Uncategorized, Young Professional , , , ,

Hello, present-day Alice here. I found this post deep in my draft archives, 2021 deep. On one hand I have no idea why it never got posted, and on the other hand I have every idea.

While some things have changed since this was first drafted (notably the fact I was very much single in 2021), you’ll be pleased to know the cooking skills are still as horrific now as they were then. I did it then, and I have no doubt I’d do it all over again if given half the chance…and a courgette.

So, that in mind, enjoy. AEB

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You know how when someone says they’re a fat person in a skinny person’s body, you nod along? Well, I am that person, the one who doesn’t understand how she’s not yet stuck in a doorway.

I honestly think the only reason I’m still a healthy weight is be because I’m a slave in the Matrix, and the aliens are milking me for battery juice. (It’s a normal thought process to have, right?)

Take this evening and my portion control when it comes to this mass-produced Quorn Spaghetti Bolognese:

(FYI, not a vegetarian, just trying to do my bit for the planet…and stop Paul McCartney coming after me.)

And yes, there are also frozen vegetables in there, but let’s not dwell on the lengths I go to to ‘stodge-out’ a meal.

The thing is, it was a perfectly normal* (*Alice’s version of normal) meal. But then I had this courgette. And the courgette was on the turn (it was a little bit squidgy), but it was something Mumma B had given to me, so I was determined to not let it go to waste. But the mince-stuff was already cooked and rapidly burning.

Basically, I panicked.

I hurry-sliced the courgette, coated it in black pepper, drowned it in olive oil and then threw it in the oven. I don’t know why, I just did. And even as I type this, I am very much aware this is an Alice-world problem.

Anyway, about ten minutes later (Married at First Sight was on and I may have got distracted), I retrieved the cooked-baked mush that was once a courgette and dolloped it onto my dinner plate. By now the pasta was stodgy and the mince mostly burnt on the bottom of the pan. To add to this, I didn’t quite feel satisfied that the first picture illustrated the large portion of food I had on my plate. So what did I do?

Yes, that’s right, I compared it to the size of a teabag.

This, this is what I do for content. Jeeze.

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Book Review: “The Glass Angel” by Christina Foxwell

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Rating: 3 Stars

Headline: Merging fiction and memoir, Foxwell’s self-help guide is insightful in places but muddled in others

Review:

The Glass Angel is a book of three Acts. In the first, author Christina Foxwell presents a fictional tale of a glass angel who experiences hardship after she damages her wings in a storm. Immediately following this comes Foxwell’s revelation that the glass angel in her short story is a metaphor for her own traumatic experiences growing up in a strict Cristian community during South African Apartheid, including her abusive marriages and challenge of being a single mother. The third and final act introduces self-betterment activities for readers including how to turn negative “moth thoughts” into positive “butterfly thoughts”.

This book pitches itself as an informative self-help guide, yet the opening third, with fictional tales of fantasy and magic, is bewildering (pun not intended). My honest thoughts while reading this section were why is this story here and why am I reading it? A short story through and through, “The Story of Alchemy and Transformation” reads like a bolted-on piece of copy which should have been published separately. Compare this to the autobiographical element of this book, which contains by far the best content for its ability to draw at raw emotion, and it is easy to identify where Foxwell’s skills truly lie.

While some chapters could have been tightened with the assistance of a professional editor, others were desperately lacking. So much more could have been expanded on Foxwell’s personal relationships with friends, her domestic servant and even the church. This would have come into its own in helping highlight the fallout that came following the separation with her first husband, the protection and safety those secondary relationships offered. It impacts on the rest of the book; you almost feel cheated when areas are skipped over in haste, almost as if Foxwell would rather not dwell on certain topics and move swiftly onto the author/reader exercises towards the end of the book. As a result, there is a sense of lacklustre to complete the activities on the reader’s part, like being hurried into the giftshop of a tourist attraction thirty minutes before close.

The age old phrase goes “write what you know about” and in this instance Foxwell would have done so better by herself and readers to have sold us a hard-hitting memoir of her triumph over adversity, not a self-help guide.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – The Glass Angel

Purchase Link: The Glass Angel by Christina Foxwell (Amazon)

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*ANOTHER* Video That Will Change Your Life

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, Humor, Humour, Television, Uncategorized , , ,

Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Barrymore.

No, I’m still not going to apologise. I didn’t apologise before, and I won’t now. You knew what you were in for when you clicked the link.

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Book Review: “Lincoln and Rachmaninoff Walk Into a Bar” by Cherie Magnus

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Rating: 1 star

Headline: In attempting to drive home a serious message about climate change, this short story feels a bit flat

Review:

Lincoln and Rachmaninoff Walk Into a Bar by Cherie Magnus is a short fantasy, following the adventures of an unnamed narrator as they race across America to save the world from the perils of forest fires and climate change. Their quest is supported by a cast of comrades living and dead, notably including former American president Abraham Lincoln and the Russian-American composer Sergei Rachmaninoff.

As far as plotting is concerned, this is not a particularly well thought-through book. The overall premise of Lincoln and Rachmaninoff Walk Into a Bar is somewhat questionable and the triggering incident is not introduced until about halfway through the story. This comes after a succession of scenes where characters talk about their past achievements while trying to comprehend modern technology in the 21st Century. Only when a spiritual figure appears to inform Rachmanioff and Lincoln they are to compose and write the lyrics for a song to save the planet does the story start to develop a sense of pace. It is a plot that is never fully realised, at least not in a way that provides a satisfactory conclusion.

The first person narrator’s statement in the opening lines that they had a dream they met Lincoln and Rachmaninoff rather sets the tone for the rest of the book. The dream statement is touched upon several times in the story, yet there is no moment of “and then I woke up”, leaving readers to guess for themselves the blurred lines between what could be reality and what could be a dream sequence. Is the whole story a work of character imagination?

The book has a lot of grammatical and spelling mistakes and the overuse of unnecessary adverbs becomes very grating, very quickly. There is also a strange subplot in the story where Destiny, a music student, and Lincoln strike up a flirtatious relationship. This part may have been intended as comedy but instead it feels more uncomfortable than funny.

The intended climate change message of Lincoln and Rachmaninoff Walk Into a Bar is lost in its poor execution. It is not to a high enough standard to recommend it to other readers, even if the historical research is commendable.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “Lincoln and Rachmaninoff Walk Into a Bar” by Cherie Magnus

Purchase Link: “Lincoln and Rachmaninoff Walk Into a Bar” by Cherie Magnus (Amazon)

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