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I need this rock

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Art, British, Humour, London, Uncategorized , , ,

For anyone pondering ideas for any future birthdays, Christmases, other religious occasions…celebrating your teacher (actually, maybe not the celebrating your teacher), but for everyone else, there is this:

Image credit: Royal Academy of Arts (online shop), London

Title: “Little Rock Looking At You”

Description:

Created exclusively for the RA Editions programme, this new sculpture by Marina Abramović Hon RA is based on a drawing made by the artist whilst living in Australia.

Produced as an edition of fifty in cast and blackened iron, Abramović has painted the eyes individually by hand, giving each rock its own unique character. The sculptures are initialled and numbered on the base and presented in a stamped cedar wood box. Each is accompanied by a card signed by the artist, as well as a certificate of authenticity.

Due to the hand-finished nature, each sculpture is unique.

Retail price: £2950* (*as of May 2024)

£2950?! 2.9.5.0?! Are you actually kidding me? As per Mumma B’s general steer on art, “if Alice could do it, it’s not ‘Art'” and ladies and gentleman, I am quite sure this is something I could do.

Now, before we all start jumping in our cars and heading for the nearest beach, it is worth noting that the creator of this artwork is Marina Abramović. Marina Abramović, as in, the Serbian artist who makes visitors walk between naked people to gain entry to her exhibitions. Marina Abramović, who drinks water more seductively than Nigella Lawson on a Christmas cooking extravaganza:

Marina Abramović, who just basically gets her kicks from performance/shock art.

I was going to add another video to prove my point, but every one ended up with a naked Marina Abramović, or some other woman flashing me, and no one needs that without at least a trigger warning. In the space of thirty minutes I viewed enough of Marina Abramović’s body that it both ruined my related videos feed on YouTube and led to some very awkward suggested adverts.

Goes to show, if you call it “Art” then anything goes.

Purchase link (in case you don’t believe me): Little Rock Looking At You – Royal Academy of Arts – Shop

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Impressive stacking skills

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, food, Humour, shopping, Swindon, Uncategorized , , ,

Not wanting to toot my own horn, but, I’m going to toot my own horn.

The looks staff gave me coming along with my trolley, approaching the self-service tills with thinly disguised smugness usually reserved only for the scan as you shop crowd.

I see your tiny space for basket shops and I raise you this:

(Although not going to lie, I was annoyed I couldn’t get the ice cream fully onto the scales.)

All the years of playing Tetris have clearly not been lost on me. And if you want the best words of guidance for getting staff to walk on by, wearing a face covering and buying a pack of cold relief medication will go a long way.

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Alice E. Bennett Wins Flash Fiction Competition at Bournemouth Writing Festival

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Book, Event, Humour, Prize, Uncategorized, Writing , , ,

I am thrilled to announce that flash fiction submission, “How the Dressmaker of Bournemouth Feeds her Family” has been shortlisted for publication in Bournemouth Writing Festival’s debut anthology.

Judge and Bournemouth academic, Charlotte Grace Fodor, said of the piece:

“How the Dressmaker of Bournemouth Feeds her Family” is a well-crafted, thought-provoking story with good attention to detail and is glittered with humour. I particularly enjoyed how the ending of the story adds depth and layers to the narrative, prompting the reader to reflect on themes of self-expression, transformation, and authenticity. The question posed by the shopkeeper…invites the reader to consider the choices we make in presenting ourselves to the world.

This question can be interpreted in various ways, encouraging introspection about personal growth and self-discovery.

Needless to say, I am completely over the moon by this news. Given the hundreds of submissions into this competition, I was more than flattered to have made the longlist, let alone the top 20. That in mind, I want to congratulate all of my fellow longlistees and thank all those involved in running this competition.

I’ll be joining my fellow winners for a special awards ceremony taking place as part of the festival later in April. Watch this space for updates!

Lines in the Sand will be published by Dithering Chaps on 26th April 2024. It is available for pre-order from Amazon, with physical copies available during the festival and from the publisher direct.

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Writer’s Cartoon of the Week – “The Editor”

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Humor, Humour, Mermaid, Uncategorized , , , ,

Full credit goes to Pia Guerra and Ian Boothby for this cartoon (lifted from The New Yorker Magazine’s Instagram account) that I know many writers will relate to.

In my case, my “editor” tends to be my boyfriend, and he is a rubbish one. He lets me ramble, resulting in me digging a massive hole for myself and revealing myself to be the utter muppet I am (probably why he lets me do it!)

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“Swindon bin bag travels 15 minutes from home” is the best local news article I’ve read so far this year

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, Humor, Humour, Swindon, Uncategorized , , , , ,

I appreciate it’s a bit belated, considering the article was penned on 29th January, but honestly this article is quite possibly the best thing you’ll read all year.

Brought to you by local newspaper the Swindon Advertiser, “Swindon bin bag travels 15 minutes from home” follows the story of a lost recycling bag which, you guessed it, was blown away in recent storms, ending up a location that is 15 minutes away by foot.

“I expected to see an address on it for my street…but was shocked to see the Church’s name on it as that is a fair distance for it to be blown in the wind…I placed it on the railings where I found it and decided the decent thing to do was post its location so someone could inform the church where to find it.” Emma Viggers, Swindon resident

The best bit comes at the end. After an article detailing the recycling bag’s journey, we get this as a journalistic afterthought:

Meanwhile, a structure at the Abbey Stadium was also damaged.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Link to original article (and credit to Edward Burnett for originally reporting): Storm Isha: Swindon bin bag travels 15 minutes from home | Swindon Advertiser

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My foot: an update

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Humor, Humour, Medicine, Swindon, Uncategorized , ,

You know, it struck me the other day that I have this uncanny ability for calamity, like the time I tripped on a paving slab and did my noggin’ in.

Putting that to one side, an update to say things are going going better with my foot (you know, the one I tipped a mug of boiling water over). This was how it was looking before, after the skin had been taken off at a minor injuries unit and a couple of days into a course of antibiotics:

I’m intentionally leaving out photos of my swollen foot at the point boyfriend Ben dragged me into an urgent care unit.A week later after the first bandage, my foot was looking more like this:

Battling infection was a low point, alongside the accompanied pain, and balancing antibiotics with my primal need to constantly eat. (‘Take one tablet four times a day, at least one hour before food and two hours after food.” Hmm…this is going to be a truly rubbish week!’)

Comedy point was when I tried to keep my foot dry in the shower by sticking a plastic bag over my foot, held in place by a hair band. Not only did it fail within seconds, giving me a soaking bandage, I also nearly slipped in the shower.

I also realised afterwards the bag was from a Chinese takeaway I’d had the week before. I’m nothing if not true to brand.

In all the ups and downs, I consider myself incredibly lucky to have had a supportive family network around me, one which have both taken care and refused to let me out of their sight where herbal tea is concerned. It is thanks to them that I’m well on my way to feeling more myself, even if it has been a slower process than I had initially expected.

It won’t stop me drinking my beloved cups of tea (and coffee), though.

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Pottering about in Watford and London

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Birthday, Book, British, Film, Humour, London, Uncategorized , , , , ,

Cast your mind back to a time before Christmas (Why? Because I may have forgot I was wearing a Christmas jumper at the time and it makes continuity a bit of a nightmare)…

Boyfriend Ben and I had a great time visiting The Making of Harry Potter Studio Tour in Watford. A year in the making (not joking), we had lots of fun exploring the Harry Potter sets and Ben telling me what it meant.

(Just don’t tell anyone I stopped reading the HP series when I was about 15 and a third into Order of the Phoenix.)

Jokes aside, we both had a really good time (so much so it’s got me wanting to watch the films again, much to Ben’s delight).

I also drank too much butterbeer and the foam puffed out my cheeks like a moustached chipmunk.

Watford wasn’t too shabby as a place either! Especially the cocktails…

From Watford, we went back down to London and spent a few days there. This included a birthday surprise from Ben when he took me to a lovely restaurant on the Thames, followed by a night of laughs watching The Play That Goes Wrong on the West End.

And the birthday celebrations were rounded off with cake and a cat.

We had a wonderful time with plenty of memories to carry with us into 2024. That, and copious amounts of toiletries I took from the various hotel rooms (sorry, not sorry).

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Christmas Merriment

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Christmas, Humour, New Year, Uncategorized ,

With all the Christmas happenings going on, I thought I’d already drafted and scheduled a Christmas post. Turns out I hadn’t, hence why with barely more than 24 hours to go I’m typing this.

Happy Christmas and merry New Year.

I hope you all have a happy, joyful, merry, wonderful, safe, yada-yada-yada Christmas and New Year. I’m going to be away from the website during this period while I spend time relaxing with friends and family (and focusing on other writing and reading exploits).

Next week there will be not one, but two book reviews going live, so keep your eyes peeled for those. I will see you again in the new year.

Now, where’s the nearest coffee shop?

Best wishes,

AEB

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“The Alice Show”

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Cotswolds, Humor, Humour, Swindon, Travel, Uncategorized, Young Professional , , , , , ,

I’ve been going through old video material. Some it used for assorted MHAM posts, others filmed in the moment, yet never used. (Believe it or not, even I have a version of a cutting room floor!)

After conducting an even deeper dig into the Alice archives, I’ve pulled together a compilation video of clips, both seen and unseen. Where possible, I’ve tried to piece together when content was originally filmed and overlay it into each clip. I had more than this, but at 11 minutes long I felt the video was already pushing it beyond the five minutes I’d originally planned (maybe in the future there could be a sequel).

It’s a little bit of a vanity project, but one which I hope some of you may get a chuckle out of.

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A quick break in Lymington

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Holiday, Humor, Humour, Travel, Uncategorized, Vacation , , , , , ,

Just back having spent a lovely couple of days in the New Forest town of Lymington (England). Boyfriend Ben was busy attending to work matters and, with me having copious amounts of annual leave left to take, I thought I’d have another go at exploring.

Unlike last year, when I visited neighbouring Lyndhurst, this time I didn’t get ill from Norovirus (actual yay!!)

I didn’t take many snaps for a few key reasons:

  1. I was only in Lymington for two full days
  2. I spent most of that time in coffee shops and eateries, reading books or writing like the Devil himself

Other reasons:

  1. I visited the St Barbe Museum & Art Gallery, but they had a policy of not taking photos in the gallery (which is fair enough)
  2. It’s November, things get dark from 16:30
  3. I walked up and down the main High Street so many times I felt I was one selfie away from being branded a loitering millennial
  4. Pulling together videos takes time, especially when…
  5. I’m also taking part in a personally adapted version of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this year

But hey! Here are a couple of snaps I did manage to take. (All of which from around the quay at the moment I thought “I should probably take a photo for the website”)

There’s a nature reserve (located next to a busy stretch of road – you wouldn’t know it!)

There are ferries to the Isle of Wight (which I didn’t utilise, but I did walk up to with no intention of boarding. I went right to the edge and thought “huh, so that’s what the ferries look like up close. Okay,” then retraced my steps back to the quay. Valid use of an hour’s walking with a laptop strapped to my back, if ever there was one.

There was also the mini event of the train cutting over the quay, which felt strange and yet very watchable.

And then there’s me, hello!

In conclusion

Lymington is a wonderful place to visit for a short break, particularly around this time of year (November), when things are less crowded vs the high/school holiday season.

I stayed within the town throughout my stay but there are plenty of other local attractions within the New Forest for those wanting to explore, alongside the car/foot passenger ferry to the Isle of Wight. Lymington is accessible by car and serviced by two train stations, one of which being only a couple of minute’s walk from the town centre.

For what it’s worth, these were the coffee/catering I visited* (*I visited other establishments which formed part of nationally recognised chains, so I’ll celebrate the independents instead!)

Lounges of Lymington

The Larder, Lymington

The King’s Head Inn, Lymington

Coffeelogy, Southampton (this place isn’t in Lymington, but I stopped here on my way home!)

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