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This photograph = me right now

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Culture, Humor, Humour, Swindon, Uncategorized , , ,

I don’t know if it’s because of the heat we’ve had in the UK all summer (combined with woeful lack of air conditioning), or because there’s a lot of personal stuff on the go right now causing me no end of stress, but this picture, this is me.

Credit goes to TK Maxx for this one and zero credit goes to boyfriend Ben who flatly refused to let this exist in the same house as us. To be fair, given how much stuff* (*putting it politely) I have, I tend to agree. Ben has also reminded me that I routinely sit / sleep in positions similar to this and call it “comfortable.”

I think he’s trying to hint that it would be cheaper for me to just continue being me, sans human-sized cushion.

TK Maxx, if you’re reading this, my door is always open for an Alice/skeleton cushion collab. Just don’t tell Ben.

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The 90s intro to “This is Swindon” is pure gold

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, History, Humour, Swindon, Television, Uncategorized , , , ,

The music, the editing, the vibe; this introduction to Swindon title sequence from the 1990s has everything going for it.

Hailing from a time (now long since gone) where many medium sized towns had their own cable TV station, I don’t know how I stubbled across this Despite that, this 30 second clip has since become a video that I absolutely love and adore for all its total cheesiness. It lives in my head rent free.

Thinking ahead, I might feature this clip in another Swindon-related piece, or I might choose to feature it in every single thing I say and do from now on. As intros go, I think this is unashamedly low-budget and utter class. And now I have shared this delightful earworm with you as well.

What can I say? You’re welcome.

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“How to Call in Sick for Work” (Notes from Creative Writing)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Humour, Prompt, Swindon, Uncategorized, Writing , , ,

From my writing class scribbles, a quick 10 minute starter activity penned in response to the prompt “tell a story through a list”. Enjoy.

(Writer’s note: this piece is intended to be satirical. Please don’t do any of these things at home…including #1.)

How to call in Sick for Work

  1. Research is key – watch as many episodes of that trashy series you’ve always been putting off. Start with a series and a half of the Real Housewives or the Batchelor and increase the dosage by two episodes a time. If this doesn’t make you sick then it’s time to move onto the heavy stuff.
  2. Have you ever considered a spiritual calling to volunteer at your local nursery? Small children are delights when it comes to virus incubation!
  3. Look up the ingredients list of any standard item of fast food.
  4. Lick a chicken, raw.
    • Tip: for most effective results make sure the chicken is already dead. See “How to end up in A&E” for tips on licking chickens that are still alive.
  5. Conduct an image search for fungal nail infections, the more progressive, the better.
  6. Congratulations, you’re now sick.

(From my notebook. First draft penned 07/05/25)

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If you’re having a tough day, watch this

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) America, Humour, Television, Uncategorized , , ,

Did anyone else watch “Oswald the Octopus” growing up? I vaguely do, but I am quite sure I was out of the target age range for watching. How do I know this? Because I found it weird that you’ve got a talking, walking, octopus, but the dog can’t talk? It makes no sense!

Anyway, back on to sensible matters, here’s a video of Oswald growing a giant banana and gifting chunks of it around the community. Just, don’t question the physics of a banana frisbee, or a snowman in central park.

It’s videos like this that make my boyfriend question what children’s television writers are on half the time they do their job.

Still, it’s a relaxing watch, I think.

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Meanwhile, in Alice’s head…

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Humour, Uncategorized , ,

No context needed, this video perfect sums up how my mind works most evenings when it gets to 31C in the UK in my house in the UK.

Say what you want about resilience, but us Brits are not made for 31C heat. Us, and our woeful lack of air conditioning.

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“Life is a Tube” (Notes from Creative Writing)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Humour, Prompt, Swindon, Uncategorized, Writing , ,

From my writing class scribbles, a quick 10 minute starter activity penned in response to the prompt “write a metaphor poem”. Enjoy.

Life is a Tube

Life is a Tube station,

It fills and falls in seconds,

Iconic to some, disgusting to others

At least the rats are dry.

A unifier of rich and poor, old and young,

Souls who loiter in dust and sweat,

The heat builds higher, a screech grows louder,

And yet only a dim light beckons.

(From personal notebook, initial draft penned 23/04/25)

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My Housemate’s a Mermaid – THE PODCAST

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) #blog, adult, British, Coffee, comedy, Coronavirus, Cotswolds, Culture, Dating, Economy, Europe, Event, family, fashion, Film, Finance, First Time Buyer, food, Friends, Gym, History, Holiday, House, How To, Humor, Humour, job, Literature, London, love, Medicine, Mellennial, Mental Health, Mermaid, News, Nonfiction, Pets, Podcast, Review, Social Media, Swindon, Tourist, Travel, Uncategorized, University, Wheelie Bins, Work, Young Professional , , ,

Another one from deep within the MHAM draft posts that never made it to air…until now.

Back in 2021…

I was thinking to myself the other day “you know what? There aren’t enough podcasts in the world. And golly, there sure as heck aren’t enough opinions being shared around. I should do something to rectify this immediately!”

Or, alternatively, I saw an advert for the free podcasting creator, Anchor, and thought I’d give it a shot.

Several coffees later and some playing about with low-budget graphics and ta-da! A podcast was born:

(Before you say anything, I really cannot stress the low budget-ness of this production. Low budget in the sense there is none.)

Who knows what will become of this, but basically it’s me talking to myself for up to half an hour and in episode one I talk about what lead me to start writing a blog. If you enjoy the concept of a one-woman natter then you’re in for a right royal treat.

I honestly could not be selling this venture harder if I tried. It’s just something I’m giving a go at for a bit of fun.

“My Housemate’s a Mermaid – The Podcast” available on Spotify

Jumping back to 2025…

Surprise, surprise, it didn’t catch on and after forcing myself through four recordings I stopped podcasting and went back to pure writing. I think as much as anything it was the realisation that podcasting with free software is difficult (in that I found the free to use software incredibly limiting and of overall poor production value).

I’m currently in the process of getting the original recordings saved (would you believe it, the platform appears to give podcast owners no access to downloading their own work once published).

For now, enjoy the bittersweet car crash that was the MHAM podcast and who knows, maybe I’ll revive it one day on better terms.

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Performing at Swindon Festival of Literature

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Book, Humour, Literature, Swindon, Uncategorized, Writing , ,

Ticking something off the Swindon bucket list, I can now say I’ve experienced the delight of reading/performing my fiction to a live audience at the Swindon Festival of Literature.

A piece of self-penned fiction, my story had the added “challenge” of needing to be performed in three minutes and in a way that kept the audience begging for more. I loved every second of it.

No performer is worth half of their talent without their trusty roadies. Ben did a brilliant job at suggesting revisions to my piece during the drafting stage, watching my performance in living room rehearsals and, most importantly, pumping me full of sugar and positivity on the night itself. (He’s also a dab hand at a camera.)

Thank you to the organisers of this event for helping to promote fresh voices and giving authors the platform to engage with new audiences.

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What do you have in common with tacos?

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) food, Humour, Uncategorized , , ,

What do you have in common with tacos? You’re both awesome, that’s what.

Image credit goes to Wonder Doodles for creating this slice of delight.

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Volunteering on Young Enterprise’s “Learn to Earn”

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) careers, Finance, Humour, Swindon, Uncategorized , , ,

Last week I was incredibly fortunate to spend a day volunteering in a local secondary (high) school, helping to deliver one of Young Enterprise’s educational programmes, “Learn to Earn”.

The programme involves helping younger students (aged 12-13) get to grips with the basics of goal-setting and budgeting (e.g. establish the difference between “needs” and “wants”). During the day I was also able to present to the full year group of 180 students, sharing my career journey from History degree, to delivering a spectrum of digital change at my current employer. I also got to meet other professionals from outside my employment sector, which was a fun and fascinating networking experience by itself!

Overall, it was a great day and I’m very thankful to The Dorcan Academy and Young Enterprise for giving me the opportunity to be involved.

To find out more about Young Enterprise and volunteering opportunities in your area, click here.

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