Because nothing is open and everything has all been moved online, I’m now spending, on reflection, an unhealthy amount of time in call centre hold queues. Thing is, the worst bit isn’t even acknowledging how much of my finite life is slipping away, oh no, the worst bit is that I’m actually starting to get off on the music.
And you learn so much about the vibe of each company from it.
Here are a selection of some of the terribly awful hold music tracks I’ve come across, either in daily life or thanks to the gold mine that are fellow disgruntled customers on the internet.
Oh, and yeah, I have officially lost the plot.
Cottages.com go for a classical theme with this cheeky little hit, “we secretly hoped you’d go away, go away, go away!”
Just think, some people pay a small fortunate to listen to classic music concerts, I got 45 minutes for free!
Barclaycard are owning their unique brand of elevator music (I may have been bopping along to this while on hold…)
Natwest – sing along if you know the words!
Texas Department of Motor Vehicles. “Hey, the 90s called. They want everything in this video back.”
I tried thinking of something witty to say about Green Flag Breakdown Cover‘s hold music, but gave up.
(Secretly I was hoping for comedian Harry Hill to answer my call.)
Contrast this with Halfords, which sounds like that cool American uncle just decided to throw a few cords together on his guitar, whilst sat on the Californian coast.
Just me? Okay.
Tui Holidays – because music is overrated
And as for UK energy giant ScottishPower, they’ve really pushed the boat out with their playlist. That said, couldn’t help but feel the company was being a bit defeatist when faced with such a down-beat soundtrack.
Alright Scottish Power, I’m only calling to pay my bill. Jeeze.
Still, could be worse…
Anyone else currently relating to this love/hate relationship with hold music? Or should I show myself out?
Update: Huh, while researching this post I found a funky little vid that explains why hold music can be so terrible in quality:
Well now we know.
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