Author: My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett)

“Mum’s Laptop Woe” (a Very British Local News Story)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, comedy, Humor, Humour, News , , , ,

To use its full title, “Mum’s laptop woe as Amazon box contains cornflakes” is quite honestly a thing of local news beauty.

Published on 24th December, the BBC article (linked above) doesn’t contain the news bulletin VT. Someone would have to record it manually within 24 hours, before the transmission was replaced with the following day’s news. But who would be sad enough to do that? Oh, wait, that would be me.

(And before stones are thrown, the recording boiled down to me filming my laptop through my phone. If anything I think it adds to the effect.)

Give this a watch and let’s compare notes afterwards.

Here are some of my personal highlights:

  • The dramatic reconstruction of ‘opening the parcel’
  • Lizzie’s revelation: opening a parcel in December, two months after receiving it
  • “This isn’t an isolated case” in Lichfield
  • Lizzie’s fears for other disappointed children
  • (And, best of all) Lizzie demanding people are made to open their parcels in front of delivery drivers

I probably shouldn’t laugh, but I will. And saying this could have been avoided if someone had forced her to open the parcel on the doorstep?

It also begs a lot of other questions…

1) How much money did Lizzie pay for this laptop? (As she and her daughter scroll through a shopping site at the end of the VT, you can see every laptop is priced at £500+. If Lizzie paid that much shouldn’t the gripe be that she was conned? If she didn’t pay that much, how can you be surprised this happened?)

2) Surely you’d know the parcel wasn’t the right weight for a laptop? Unless those boxes of cornflakes are stuffed with rocks

2.5) Why gluten free cornflakes?

3) Did Lizzie convince her friend in Lichfield to also buy the same product from the same seller?

3.5) When did Lizzie’s friend find out she’d been conned?

4) What sane person wraps up their parcels before checking their contents? Yes, the product might not be as advertised, but it could have also been damaged in transit. Very important details you’d need to know before gifting on.

5) What craziness is this demand of opening parcels on doorsteps? Lizzie, be reasonable here.

And finally 6) what ten year old kid gets a laptop for SATs revision? (And if this is commonplace nowadays it only serves as further proof that I was born in the wrong century.)

Conclusion

In all the craziness of the world right now there is one thing we can all take away and that one thing is this this news article. Local news, don’t ever change.

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A Christmas Exchange: The Most Wonderfully Low-Budget Film You’ll See This Year

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Christmas, Film, Humour, Review , , ,

I was flicking through the main streaming services, when I came across a television Christmas movie (the typically low-budget, “Hallmark” type). This one was called “A Christmas in London”.

(Although for reasons unexplained, the internet / outside the UK it’s called “A Christmas Exchange”, so let’s refer to it as that, or a “rip-off of The Holiday”.)

I went to watch the trailer online and was semi-instantly hooked.

This festive season, I’m going to share with you the tangled web of voice notes I bombarded my poor boyfriend with as I watched it in real time.

Couple of quick points: 1) editing this video took a stupid number of hours and 2) in trying to make this as accessible as possible, the closed caption tool I used…well it’s pants.

On that upbeat note, here you go!

I stand by all the comments made, other than the annoyance I forgot to verbally call out the shoddy scene setting and backdrops, including the montage that features this shot from “within the London Eye”.

And this other shot, within a phone booth:

There’s not even a phone in it! Good lord.

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“The Swindon Plaque” says a lot about this English town

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Humor, Humour, Swindon , ,

This isn’t particularly breaking news, but for those of you who may have missed it (or needed reminding about the wonders of Swindon, the town I live in), may I direct you to our council’s recent attempt to celebrate the district’s invaluable key workers.

Ladies and gentlemen, this plaque:

Have you spotted the mistake? Trick question, the whole thing is a hot mess.

Apparently the Covid 19 pandemic apparently started in 2019…I’m sorry, what?

I’ve heard all manner of conspiracy theories about Covid 19, but the one about it starting a whole year before the start of the UK lockdown? Now that’s something.

The town I live in, the town I pay my council tax to…seesh.

And on that note, I’m off to get myself a very strong cup of coffee.

(Full article can be found here (BBC News). Alternatively search for it online, there’s a lot of high-quality journalism out there.)

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*VIDEO* A New Type of Adventure: Budapest 2022

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Europe, Holiday, Humour, Travel, Vacation , , , ,

After years of having my beloved city breaks restricted by geographical borders, in September I travelled to Budapest in Hungary.

Any that wasn’t the only change in scenery…

Ps this video was uploaded later than I planned to because a) life, b) my laptop broke down (and then even longer to get it fixed) and c) once I’d finally put the video together, the file got corrupted during export, causing no end of headaches. But we’re here now.

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Book Review: “Writing the Perfect Christmas TV Movie” by Fred Ray

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Book, Book Review, Humour, Review, Uncategorized , , , ,

Rating: 4 Stars

Headline: If you enjoy Christmas movies as much as candy canes and baked cookies, you’ll love this

Review:

I love television Christmas movies, cheery 90-minute productions where cookies are always in the oven, mugs of hot chocolate plentiful on the counter, small town celebrations every other day. More festive than tinsel itself, I cannot get enough of them. When Fred Olen Ray’s book, Writing the Perfect Christmas Movie, appeared in my inbox I could not resist, jumped at the first chance I got.

Ray is no stranger to the industry of televising Christmas charm, in the space of ten years he has written fifteen Christmas films for television and directed several more. Having spent time with aspirational hopefuls wishing to break into the industry, Ray’s guide pitches itself as a one-stop shop for any budding scriptwriters of the genre with chapters that are intended to be all inclusive of the various considerations that need to be made when putting pen to paper. From story and act structure to considerations around budgets and casting and, the all important question, how Christmassy is too Christmassy? (In the world of festive films? It transpires there is no such thing.) In a short space of time Ray does an excellent job and condensing a genre and getting the main points across professionally and informally. You get a real sense of this being an author who genuinely wants to help others break into the industry.

Ray’s approach to producing this guide is consistent with an experienced professional; recounting past projects and how to avoid potential pitfalls with each approach. It is almost semi-autobiographic, from a place of passing on experience as opposed to providing a line-by-line tutorial of scriptwriting. There is a general expectation here that you can already write screenplays. To this end, Writing the Perfect Christmas Movie could be more likened to the Masterclass brand of video tutorials and may therefore cause disappointment to those hoping to see annotated case studies of previous scripts.

A choice purchase for those who are actively trying to pursue a career in scriptwriting whilst also sitting comfortably as my recommendation to any festive film-fans, Writing the Perfect Christmas Movie offers a rare peak under the covers of what makes the seasonal film genre tick.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: (AEB Reviews) Writing the Perfect Christmas Movie

Purchase Link: Writing the Perfect Christmas TV Movie

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The Final Days in My Twenties, Reduced to This

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Humour , , , ,

This is what it’s come down to. The final days of my 29th year, of being in my twenties, reduced to comparing the soft close action of different toilet seats.

So naturally I go and buy said product and I have to say it looks pretty sweet* (*in its cellophane packaging).

It doesn’t end there. Having got so excited by one soft-close Bemis toilet seats (also because they’re on offer), I go and buy another two.

Bemis really need to get me onto whatever loyalty discount programme they’re running.

I suppose there is some sort of poetic notion to this event, especially when I compare it to the start of my twenties, back when I was 21, shopping for toilet roll and decided to start this blog.

Ah well, here’s to a new decade of life in the craz-ay thirt-ays!

(It sounded better in my head.)

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Book Review: “Think in Color” by Sofia Santiago

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Book, Book Review, Humour, Review, Uncategorized , , , ,

Rating: 4 stars

Headline: Three simple mantras to change mindset and create lifelong opportunities? Sign me up!

Review:

Think in Color by Sophia Santiago is a self-betterment guide which puts forth a proposition for a new way of thinking, branded “ColorThinking”.

This approach is broken down into three mantras, also referred to as mental cones:

  1. Think “and” before “or”
  2. Think “how” before “no”
  3. Think “can be” before “is”

In all three scenarios theory and approach is backed-up by some interesting real-life and fictious scenarios, coupled with a step-by-step walkthrough of how things could have been better handled. A fourth section focuses on how to break away from external negative influences which may be impacting on your ability to implement a new way of thinking, and finally there is an advisory on the dangers of overuse; applying ColorThink to every scenario.

Santiago’s style of writing may not suit every reader, author jovialness bubbles to the service with the use of phrases including “just kidding!” and “a nice twist, ha?” In a self-help guide I prefer the tone of author voice to be informed and neutral; in places the over-informality of the writing distracts from the otherwise invaluable information and action items which the book is trying to impart.

As someone who works in Project Management, I really like what Think in Color is trying to do. Whether Santiago was aware when devising the concept of ColorThinking or not, the three mental cones have striking resemblance to Agile methodology, with its four simplistic principles for transforming and embedding efficient delivery. While the subject matter differs, the theory of ColorThink is similar in that respect and, at just over eighty pages in length, it is as equally digestible as another ground-breaking manifesto adopted by millions worldwide.

Think in Color convinces readers to reconsider the traditional black and white principles of thinking, offering a fresh perspective in a way that does not seem that different at all. I like it.

AEB Reviews

Links

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “Think in Color”

Purchase Link: “Think in Color” (Amazon)

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Alice Likes Honey

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) comedy, Europe, food, Humor, Humour, Travel , ,

A new thing I’ve discovered, honey sachets!

I am fully aware of the existence of both honey and sachets but the two together? Ruddy marvellous.

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Book Review: “Diagnosis: BURNOUT” by Ariyana S. Nishe

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Book, Book Review, Humour, Uncategorized , , ,

Rating: 1 star

Headline: Questionable facts, confusing anecdotes that lead nowhere and uncomfortable levels of over familiarity. Diagnosis? Checkout

Review:

Burnout is, to pardon the pun, a hot topic at the moment. I only need to pop down to my local community centre, shop or healthcare provider and within seconds there will be someone venting about their personal frustrations of working in an increasingly pressurised environment. From this inevitably comes the term ‘burnout’, a mental health condition that can be triggered by chronic workplace stress.

From this the writer Ariyana S. Nishe has decided to invest her passions into producing a 45-page self-help guide, Diagnosis BURNOUT.

With the subline, “Reclaim your time, health, energy and relationships” I was expecting something that could provide clear and concise guidance for those on the brink (or wanting to take proactive steps to avoid) a mental health crises. However the cover imagery is very divisive and features an eclectic mix of imagery that is distracting.

Nishe states in her introduction that burnout has been added to the list of medical diagnoses by the World Health Organisation (WHO), yet when visited the WHO website the only definition of burnout I could find was that the condition is “an occupational phenomenon. It is not classified as a medical condition.”

My confusion over the author’s interpretation of burnout left me doubting many other elements of this book. I’m not an expert on mental health conditions, let alone burnout syndrome; that is why I turn to publications like these. Yet suddenly my eye is drawn to other elements; the formatting could be tightened, use of imagery could have been reduced and improved and the tone of voice would have significantly benefitted from editorial input.

It’s clear that the author is passionate about this field of study, and I appreciate her detailed reference section to acknowledge her source materials, but it’s not enough to pull at quotes from obscure places, couple them with images pasted from search engines and label it as self-help. This is a publication that is both confused and lacking direction.

While Nishe’s attempts are valiant, sadly they don’t hold enough water to make Diagnosis: BURNOUT marketable to the audience it’s intended for. This should be seen as a product of the author’s aspiration to be published, not something for mass-market consumption. Less book material, more blog.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “Diagnosis Burnout”

(Since publication of this review the author has decided to remove the book from sale)

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