“How to Call in Sick for Work” (Notes from Creative Writing)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Humour, Prompt, Swindon, Uncategorized, Writing , , ,

From my writing class scribbles, a quick 10 minute starter activity penned in response to the prompt “tell a story through a list”. Enjoy.

(Writer’s note: this piece is intended to be satirical. Please don’t do any of these things at home…including #1.)

How to call in Sick for Work

  1. Research is key – watch as many episodes of that trashy series you’ve always been putting off. Start with a series and a half of the Real Housewives or the Batchelor and increase the dosage by two episodes a time. If this doesn’t make you sick then it’s time to move onto the heavy stuff.
  2. Have you ever considered a spiritual calling to volunteer at your local nursery? Small children are delights when it comes to virus incubation!
  3. Look up the ingredients list of any standard item of fast food.
  4. Lick a chicken, raw.
    • Tip: for most effective results make sure the chicken is already dead. See “How to end up in A&E” for tips on licking chickens that are still alive.
  5. Conduct an image search for fungal nail infections, the more progressive, the better.
  6. Congratulations, you’re now sick.

(From my notebook. First draft penned 07/05/25)

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Book Review: “Teaching Kids Good Money Habits” by Mario A. Vasquez

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Rating: 5 stars

Headline: Essential reading for any parent tackling the knotty topic of financial education

Review:

In the modern day and age it is hard to know how to best impart financial guidance on the young minds of the future, with many parents are left wondering how to best teach their children about the value of money in a society where many items are acquired with lightest of taps from a piece of coloured plastic.

In Teaching Kids Good Money Habits, author Mario A. Vasquez details the seven ways parents can support their children to become more financially literate. As well as being grounded in the author’s educational credentials, it is a guide written by a parent, for parents. In the view of Vasquez, no child is too young or too old to start receiving a financial education. There are one or two exceptions to this, including in the opening chapter on teaching the value of money, but otherwise this is a book best treated as a catch-all guide for any and all children aged four years to sixteen.

Teaching Kids Good Money Habits is a good, informative guide. As a book it broadly aims to demystify the knotty topic of financial education, helping parents bridge the gap where, through funding cuts and a restrictive timetable, state education services are not able. The tone of voice is nicely balanced so content never feels overwhelmingly tedious or too overly informal which is perfect for the intended parental audience with formatting constructed of block paragraphs. With a page length coming in at around 120 pages it feels like a manageable guide for any time-strapped parent.

Essential reading for any parent tackling the knotty topic of financial education, Teaching Kids Good Money Habits is a book I would recommend to adults; it is worthy of the reading time investment and very much worthy of a five star review.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “Teaching Kids Good Money Habits” by Mario A. Vasquez

Purchase Link: “Teaching Kids Good Money Habits” by Mario A. Vasquez (Amazon)

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If you’re having a tough day, watch this

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) America, Humour, Television, Uncategorized , , ,

Did anyone else watch “Oswald the Octopus” growing up? I vaguely do, but I am quite sure I was out of the target age range for watching. How do I know this? Because I found it weird that you’ve got a talking, walking, octopus, but the dog can’t talk? It makes no sense!

Anyway, back on to sensible matters, here’s a video of Oswald growing a giant banana and gifting chunks of it around the community. Just, don’t question the physics of a banana frisbee, or a snowman in central park.

It’s videos like this that make my boyfriend question what children’s television writers are on half the time they do their job.

Still, it’s a relaxing watch, I think.

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Poetry Review: “Cairo” by Kolton Lane

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Rating: A well-written poetry collection set across the shores of America and Egypt

Headline: 4 stars

Review:

Cairo is the new poetry collection from the author Kolton Lane. Despite the title, Cairo splits itself into two distinct geographical regions, the first half focusing itself on America and the second on Egypt. There is also a final third section which is comprised of a short story titled “Inseparable Threads”, which is set in Kansas, America.

Poems in this book follow what many would consider to be a traditionalist, conventional style of poetry, with block stanzas and rhyming couples used frequently to great effect. There is a sense of clam and ease while reading the poems, that nothing within the reader’s eye needs to be rushed. Personal favourites include the poems “Waters of the Nile” and “Dust Storms” which romanticises the arterial river which dominates the very fabric of what Egypt is and was.

The inclusion of the short story “Inseparable Threads” feels a bit out of kilter with the rest of the book. While like the rest of the book, the words are well written, by the author’s own admission, it is not a integral part of the collection. In the foreword preceding the story, Lane states, “who knows, maybe the next book may be a collection of short stories.” It is an element that probably should have been debuted elsewhere. The title of this book, Cairo, might also have benefitted from being more flattering to the boarder locations referenced, seeing as the first half the book is set in America and the second half does not limit itself to the city boarders of the Egyptian capital.

When it comes to poetry, the best collections are the ones with either a sense of urgency or a sense of place. With Cairo, Lane has successfully managed to target the latter camp to great effect. With poems that are well put together with nice deployment of visual language, reading this book will make you long for sunny days on distant shores.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews -“Cairo” by Kolton Lane

Purchase Link: “Cairo” by Kolton Lane (Amazon)

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Book Review: “How Academics Get Published” by Charles Bewlay

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Rating: 3 stars

Headline: Insightful guidance on academic publishing, at the cost of a slightly condescending tone

Review:

A publisher with over forty years experience in various publishing roles, Charles Bewlay comes to the table with a wealth of extensive knowledge, a significant factor that helps support the basis of his debut title, How Academics Get Published. Coming in at 81 pages, this is a book which by all accounts intended as a short read for any would-be academics wishing to see their work in print.

Throughout the book, Bewlay provides plenty of informative guidance and countless supportive illustrative examples. This includes how to format material for academic textbooks, referencing and comprehensive data tables and graphs. A large number of helpful tips and author anecdotes are dotted at key intervals within chapter. As a book, How Academics Get Published is also well referenced in itself, with the author providing several other notable texts for further reading at the end of the book.

Although it comes in with a shorter page count, the length is more than made up for by the density of text on the page. It is this, coupled with the variation of differing font styles and colours that can make the text feel somewhat overwhelming and distracting at points. There are also instances where the tone of voice comes across as somewhat condescending. For example, when Bewlay provides an anecdote of when he confronted a teacher for photocopying a Maths textbook for classroom uses. Although it is true that copyright law needs to be taken into serious consideration by any academic, I know from personal experience (as a student) and indirect experience (many members of my family are teachers) that the photocopying of academic textbooks is commonplace in the English educational system to the point of acceptance. I do not think Bewlay means to belittle, but within this book the tone of voice can feel somewhat misplaced.

How Academics Get Published contains a number of useful nuggets of guidance and information. It is clear that Bewlay has approached this book with a strong will to impart his experience on a fresh readership. What is less clear is exactly which age demographic of readers he is looking to educate, and the tone of voice used to engage with them. As reference guides go, it is a good starting point for readers, but not necessarily the end goal.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “How Academics Get Published” by Charles Bewlay

Purchase Link: “How Academics Get Published” by Charles Bewlay (Amazon)

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Meanwhile, in Alice’s head…

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) British, Humour, Uncategorized , ,

No context needed, this video perfect sums up how my mind works most evenings when it gets to 31C in the UK in my house in the UK.

Say what you want about resilience, but us Brits are not made for 31C heat. Us, and our woeful lack of air conditioning.

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Poetry Review: “Uprooted – A Season of Grief” by Mary Ann Burrows

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Rating:5 stars

Headline: Written with skill and depth – for a book so short, there is so much to take away

Review:

Uprooted – A Season of Grief is the new poetry collection from author Ann Burrows. Living near Vancouver, Burrows turns her pen towards a reflective collection that centres around themes of grief and grief survivorship. Spanning 108 pages, Uprooted bases itself around the four seasons, from Autumn to Summer. The collection is bookended with a foreword from Rick Diamond, a personal friend of Burrows, and an epilogue penned by the author.

Uprooted is focused purely on grief and Burrows’ handling of it following the tragic loss of her father. While there are occasional glimpses of optimism and joy, the focus on loss is very much present throughout. Regardless of the “season”, Burrows raw emotion and determination is evident throughout. Personal highlights include the poems “0 Avenue”, “Letting Go”, and “The World Needs Poets”. In one touching poem, “Sorrow is a Stone”, Burrows manages to capture the essence of grief in one succinct stanza:

Grief is a cold draft—
howling through lava rock walls,
then gone, its echo lingering,
sprinkled on the ground like rain,
woven through the air like lemon eucalyptus.

Where a multitude of poets and authors struggled to convey grief, Burrows only needs five lines to distil an entire emotion. And the above comes from a poem located early in the collection, it is not even the final flourish. Instead, it calmly sets the scene for the exploratory works that follow, varying from the superficial to the abstract. In addition to this, there has to be a small, but notable, mention to the artwork which features on both the cover design and transferred over into black and white for each “season” heading. There are few words to say, it’s a beautiful piece of design.

Crafted using a combination of traditional and unorthodox poetry structures, Uprooted is an emotionally charged ride, start to finish. For a book so short, there is so much to take away.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “Uprooted – A Season of Grief” by Mary Ann Burrows

Purchase Link: “Uprooted – A Season of Grief” by Mary Ann Burrows (Amazon)

Author Website: https://maryannburrows.com/uprooted-2/

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“Life is a Tube” (Notes from Creative Writing)

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Humour, Prompt, Swindon, Uncategorized, Writing , ,

From my writing class scribbles, a quick 10 minute starter activity penned in response to the prompt “write a metaphor poem”. Enjoy.

Life is a Tube

Life is a Tube station,

It fills and falls in seconds,

Iconic to some, disgusting to others

At least the rats are dry.

A unifier of rich and poor, old and young,

Souls who loiter in dust and sweat,

The heat builds higher, a screech grows louder,

And yet only a dim light beckons.

(From personal notebook, initial draft penned 23/04/25)

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Book Review: “Celebrity Word Scramble: Famous Names in Music” by Bill Maier

My Housemate's a Mermaid (Alice E. Bennett) Book, Book Review, Humour, Review , , ,

Rating: 2 stars

Headline: This puzzle book left me scratching my head more than scratching my chin

Review:

Celebrity Word Scramble: Famous Names in Music by Bill Maier is a puzzle book, filled with over a hundred unique challenges to test knowledge of famous singers both past and present. As Maier himself proclaims, “Celebrity Word Scramble is intended to interest a wide scope of puzzle lovers with puzzle books on sports, entertainment, history, and literature.” This would imply that Maier intends to release subsequent versions of this book, although at the time of reviewing publication dates were to be confirmed.

The puzzles follow the same approach, scrambled words where the reader has to select the right letters. Over the course of several iterations, with clues to help, the reader is able to piece together an answer to discover the hidden name of the celebrity. An appendix is also included to compare answers to.

While to all intents and purposes this could be a fun little book, I found myself falling down at the first hurdle. No matter how many times I stared at the worked through example on the opening page, I could not work out how the author was able to piece together the word “tunnel” out of the jumble of letters that make up “becrha”. With my brow becoming increasingly furrowed over what was meant to be a simple example, you can imagine how I got on with the actual word puzzles. After staring at the first three for five long minutes with little joy, I simply gave up.

With puzzle books it is hard to be truly unbiased. I fully accept that to a seasoned puzzle goer the nature of this book could be very straightforward but equally I have to reflect on this book being advertised as suitable for a wide range of readers, including those looking for a quick pick-up. In this case it is not something I can readily recommend; the questions themselves were just too complicated for me to grasp.

AEB Reviews

Links:

Reedsy Discovery Review: AEB Reviews – “Celebrity Word Scramble: Famous Names in Music” by Bill Maier

Purchase Link: “Celebrity Word Scramble: Famous Names in Music” (Amazon)

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